10 years from now, I envision myself at the top of my career! I see myself as charge nurse, and helpful to all of my colleagues and using my experiences as a child and young adult to help others. I also see myself pursing a secondary degree, such as something pharmaceutical related, and/or polishing my nursing degree. Personally, I want to be happy and content with my degree. I suspect that will come to pass! I hope to make a difference also by becoming a travel nurse and even visiting third world countries to help.

Apart from the financial security that comes with a college degree, along the way I hope to forge a sense of camaraderie, identity, and feel accomplished. I want lasting friendships and great memories. I plan on helping other students and joining extracurricular activities.

My highest motivation to continue my academic pursuits is this has been my goal since I was a child. Wisely, I knew that would be my ticket to success. Even more significant, it’s a step in breaking the cycle, permanently stopping the generational trauma, I want to show my children success. And myself. I also feel career is a huge part of identity. At least for me it is. Plus, my passion for learning just never dies. Even through the momentous hurdles, I remind myself I am capable and deserving of finishing college.

My advice to other students facing similar circumstances such as mine would be to seek help for yourself in the form of therapy, community, and a healthy support system. For many years, I struggled in a survival mode existence resulting from the twenty years of trauma I suffered as a child and young adult.  Looking back, I know I needed a mentor and a support system. Please do not do this alone! And please take care of yourself.  I am not ashamed to admit I had a lot to unpack and needed some help. I am a bit older now, and do not regret the past, but had I had supports things would have been immensely easier on me. I recommend to any student facing trauma and lack of support, to realize you are enough, and you deserve the world, and the world needs you!

When I think about life 10 years from now, I hope to have a sustainable system and sense of equilibrium between various aspects of my life. Professionally, it would be a dream to have a private practice or wellness center offering care to the populations I am most passionate about in a holistic way- or be part of something along those lines. Personally, I hope to be able to continue making art and sharing it with the world and continue to work towards working through my lifetime of unresolved medical issues to lower my daily pain levels and make the world a more accessible place for myself and those like me. 

My greatest intention going into this master’s program was to gain new experiences and add more tools to my social work toolbox to greater support the community. I truly believe this was accomplished and feel that after completing this final year I will be in a better position towards my professional goals. 

My greatest motivation is all that I have survived up to this point in my life, and feeling deep within me that it has put me in a unique position to help those that are currently going through or have gone through similar situations. When I feel alone, I remember how many people around the world are going through similar struggles- or those that I have already encountered along the way, and that motivates me to keep going. When I feel overwhelmed with my pain, school, work, or other aspects of life I remember all that I have survived and all the hoops I have gone through to do so- ultimately reminding me that if I made it through those things, I could make it through this. 

Grief is so consuming, and when it first happens it feels like a different reality- or not a reality at all. While there are stages to grief, I think I put a big weight on myself to make it “through” the grieving “process”. What I wish someone would have told me, is that it is not a cut and dry process to make it through and be done with, but a lifelong weight on your soul- a new life so to speak. That is not to say that it will never get better, you will adapt to this new life without your loved one- it will get easier and won’t feel as heavy. Healing is not linear, you may take three steps forward to take two steps back another day, and that is okay. Channeling the grief into something meaningful helped me a lot and realizing that there were lessons within such a circumstance that applied to a myriad of other circumstances.